I want to write about something random..
related to any common late teenage girl feeling haha
kinda phase? don't know.. it's been a long time
It's about feeling, to a stranger. Totally stranger.
Does he remember me? Its likely he even don't know me.. maybe
Perhaps, I'm just a crumb of colliding star, passed by in his orbit
But i hope not
We met twice.. That night, in unbelievable incident
Unwanted, unexpected. And awkward.
I want to scream that night. Melt into molecules.
I don't know what I'm doing back then
Until the morning, we got split. I thought it was the end.
Because we back into completely stranger each other
Back to our own orbit
But that night is.. i don't know why...
why.. why it's hardly to forget
why him of all people there?
why that moment happened?
And then someday, when life gets flat..
I saw him... he saw me
But.. i thought he saw me first
Yeah we just sharing slight of sight.. in park, then he just left!
Leaving me wonder whether it was really him or not
It was must be a fool of me if I thought any further after
Then the end
Haha
But wait.. guess what?
He already gave spark into my memory
What kind of magic was that??
My mind suddenly jumped to that moment again after long time
Oh.. That guy! That old time!
And i don't know, all this time, my intuition said that he is a different good guy. I mean, really good guy, not like any other guys i know that crush-able in college life but then disappointing. The scary thing is, that my intuition in judging people, oftentimes, ... mostly true.
He's not that crush type first, but that night made me see him in different spotlight. We met twice.. We even don't talk that much, but why there's gravity of my mind toward him. I want to get rid this annoying this tickling-thing in my stomach, followed by feel of full on my chest.
Why... him?
Even its has little possibility, i want him to know that when I'm thinking about future.. it's always pull and push fight between my sense and, something, than called that hope, i prefer to call it curiosity.
My sense said that our orbit is far. Probability of we met it's likely really rare. My curiosity said that it's okay, he's good guy, what's up.. what has he been doing recently. And then it led me search him in online social media. Well.. I'm not that creepy stalker. No! I mean I just want to know a little, how his life doing. Just that. And apparently he seems busy. I don't see update of any event, graduate, or anything related to daily life. Okay. That was fine. It seem he was doing great... Okay. No other expectation.
Why him.. a stranger..
I believe in destiny, hope. But reveries, something kind reveries.. I know i can't depend on something like that.. I don't want my self get suffered later by something unpredictable. His status as stranger maybe made him in my eyes looks good during this time, maybe it's gonna be different if I know him further. But it's okay, it's life, full something we don't expected. Maybe I'm too naive or what. Need to go on then.
In positive side, my feeling said "ah this feels good... to have a crush something like that in college life... give butterfly and fluttering heart"
If I can make a wish, if God permits.. perhaps we can graduate in same time, same place? please?
so i can hear his name mentioned loudly in my big day.. haha
it's silly random i know.. but i think this is a good idea to reward my college
